For years, conversations about screen time have focused almost exclusively on children. How much YouTube is too much? Should teenagers be on social media? When should a child get their first smartphone? New research suggests we may have been asking the wrong question.
According to a study published last month in the peer-reviewed journal Frontiers in Psychology (with Bloomberg)it’s not just kids’ screen habits that matter. Parents who are constantly distracted by their phones may unwittingly weaken their emotional bond with their children, which can leave lasting developmental and cognitive effects. The study surveyed 600 US teenagers aged 12 to 17, most of whom reported feeling neglected or left out when their parents were engrossed in their devices.
The phone is not the problem. Feeling ignored
Researchers have found that excessive phone use by caregivers can contribute to what is known as “insecure attachment” – a pattern that can make children more anxious, avoidant, and less confident in relationships later in life. According to Don Grant, media psychologist, addiction expert, and fellow of the American Psychological Association, those effects can persist into adulthood if left untreated.
“It can have a very negative impact on their safety, which they will carry with them for the rest of their lives,” said Grant.
Grant described the issue as more than just spending too much time on the phone. It’s about being physically present but emotionally absent. One example of this study highlights parents who prided themselves on being at every rehearsal or sports game, so that their children would remember them by always looking down at the screen instead of watching the clock ticking away.
Why does this study feel different?
We’ve covered how too much screen time and social media can affect kids. The difference here is that the researchers turned the spotlight on parents instead. Their work represents one of the most comprehensive studies examining how children perceive the technology habits of their caregivers and how those habits shape the parent-child relationship.
The findings also build on a growing body of research on “technology” – the idea that digital devices are quietly disrupting face-to-face relationships. While previous studies have mostly examined its impact on romantic partners, this study suggests that a similar pattern may play out between parents and their children. It also aligns with broader trends. For example, Bloomberg notes that nearly half of American teenagers surveyed by the Pew Research Center in 2024 said their parents are at least sometimes interrupted by a phone call during a conversation, although very few parents believe it happens.
The funny thing is that we’ve spent years worrying about kids being glued to their screens. This study turns that discussion on its head, suggesting that the biggest problem may be what children see when they look up. After all, the moments that children often remember are not those spent staring at a screen, but those when the people they want to connect with were staring at them.
