Why Gen Z doesn’t see marriage as part of their American dream

Traditionally, achieving the American Dream usually means going to college, getting married, buying a house and having children.

Gen Z may be more inclined to skip the wedding part, according to a recent CNBC and SurveyMonkey American Dream Pulse Survey. Among the 4,130 survey respondents, getting married was one of the least important things for them to feel like they had achieved the American Dream, lagging far behind benefits like financial stability, owning a home and just being happy.

Only 37% of Gen Z respondents saw marriage as important. That’s walking. According to data from the Pew Research Center, two-thirds (67%) of US high school seniors surveyed in 2023 say they are very likely to marry someday, down from 80% who reported the same in 1993.

Gen Zers are young, currently aged 14 to 29, with plenty of time to discover throughout their lives. But their lack of interest in marriage, if it persists, may cause problems later in life, from loneliness to financial difficulties, psychologists and financial experts suggest.

Unmarried people under the age of 35 in the US have a lower median income – about $22,000 for men and $9,000 for women – than married couples of the same age, with a combined total of about $114,000, according to US Census Bureau data. And 61% of married Americans say they are “thriving” in life, compared to only 45% of those who have never been married, according to a 2023 Gallup Poll.

“The data is really clear that when you have someone you love and someone you love, you’re at your best in life,” says John Gottman, a psychologist, relationship expert and founder of The Gottman Institute, a Seattle-based couples counseling organization.

Those who cooperate have waited a long time. Many Gen Zers see marriage as a “foundation stone” rather than a “cornerstone” of their lives, Gottman said. In other words, older generations are more likely to want to achieve at least some major life milestones on their own, before they feel ready to settle down and get married – or even prioritize their own happiness and satisfaction over the pursuit of marriage.

Here’s why, according to some Gen Zers, and what psychologists and financial experts say about the future of the American Dream.

Being married may not directly promote financial stability, home ownership or general happiness, but metrics like household wealth and reported life satisfaction are higher for married Americans. Still, marriage rates among young people have fallen since 1980, according to Pew — and the US has some of the unhappiest youth in the world, according to the World Happiness Report 2026, released March 19.

Potential criminal: Gen Z may be lonely. Only 17% of US adults under the age of 30 feel “deeply connected to at least one community,” found a survey from the Institute of Politics at Harvard Kennedy School, published in April 2025. Reducing community participation means fewer opportunities to find a future partner who shares your values ​​and makes you happy, which can help explain the falling marriage rates in the country.

The gender gap in education – and the economic opportunity that often goes with it – is also contributing to Gen Z ceasing to marry. Young women are increasingly outpacing men in obtaining bachelor’s degrees and the economic opportunity for men without a college degree has declined, shrinking the pool of men women are likely to see as suitable husbands.

Some men have become toxic to women in response, Gottman said. “We’ve seen an increase in misogyny recently,” she said, referring to the so-called “manosphere,” a catch-all term for online communities and activists who criticize feminism and promote traditional gender roles in relationships. This trend certainly isn’t helping the country’s declining marriage rates, Gottman noted.

Against that background, it’s not surprising that some young women would choose to pursue financial stability on their own. Until the 1970s, women needed a male guarantor, usually a husband, to buy homes and get credit cards. Since then, their economic prospects have improved, and the gender wage gap has narrowed for some: Women ages 25 to 34 now earn $0.95 for every dollar a man in that age bracket makes, up from about $0.74 in 1982, according to newly available Pew data, published in March 2024.

Isabel Crawford, a 25-year-old DJ and event photographer In New York City, he says he grew up in Philadelphia thinking he would go to college, get a good job and get married because that’s what his parents, grandparents and family friends all did. Moving to New York and seeing single women with successful careers and fulfilling lives has since inspired her to ditch marriage altogether, she says.

“Would it be written on the paper that women must sacrifice themselves [in marriage]? No, but they do it consistently, time after time,” Crawford said.

Many young Americans are getting married, including some who previously rejected the idea. They do it later in life than previous generations.

Sarah Wu, a 29-year-old public relations professional in New York, grew up not wanting to get married — in part, because she struggled with her pride as a Chinese.–An American in a predominantly white neighborhood in New Jersey, he says. He tied the knot on June 27 after a journey of self-discovery — and meeting the right person, he notes. Finding her soulmate helped her realize that her negative view of marriage was a defense mechanism to protect herself from the pain of rejection, she says.

Wu’s timing is consistent with his peers. The median age of Americans at first marriage was 28 for women in 2025 and 31 for men, compared to 22 for women and 24 for men in 1980, according to US Census Bureau data.

However, delaying marriage can have long-term consequences for individuals, such as waiting to access financial benefits such as joint tax filing, shared health insurance and Social Security benefits. Focusing too much on your financial options before marriage can make it more difficult to achieve the goals you share with your spouse, says Douglas Boneparth, a certified financial planner and author with his wife Heather of “Money Together,” a book about how couples can deal with the emotional and psychological aspects of money.

“If you create financial silos or operate too independently from a financial perspective, you’re actually doing yourself a disservice,” Boneparth said. Often, he adds, big goals “require more collaboration.”

But worrying about the future of your marriage depends on having one in the first place, and some Gen Zers say they can achieve their version of the American Dream on their own. Crawford, for example, says she expects to enjoy more financial freedom in her 30s, as she expands her career. He gets a lot of the emotional fulfillment he needs from his platonic relationships, he adds.

“I’ve gotten so much from the women in my life, and I can’t imagine a man could compare to that, or be able to give me, really, the undying love that my friends give me,” Crawford said.

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