When Beyoncé took the stage early in her career, she didn’t do it like Beyoncé. She became “Sasha Fierce” – an alter ego that caused a nervous breakdown. The strategy behind you can work for all of us.
As a therapist for nearly 25 years and the author of “The Mental Strength Playbook,” I’ve watched smart, talented people buckle under pressure. They stumble through sales calls even though they have the script memorized. Even if they are quiet in meetings or have a good idea in the group.
No matter how talented or prepared you are, doubt can hold you back. I teach clients to change their alter ego because it’s one of the fastest ways to get past it and do their best.
That’s what the alter ego actually does for you
When doubt hijacks your brain, you start thinking about everything that could go wrong, distracting you from the task at hand.
Your first reaction may be to talk yourself out of fear. But that often backfires and makes it even harder to keep your head in the game. Changing the alter ego instead is like stepping into the mind of a person who doesn’t panic.
“It’s like when I make a movie, I become an actor, [and] when you put on a wig and when you put on clothes, you walk in a different way,” Beyoncé told Oprah in a 2008 interview.
Although Beyoncé said a few years later that she would retire Sasha Fierce as a different persona, there was a time when the alter ego appeared whenever she performed. “Usually when I hear the crowd, when I put my hats on, like in the past when you’re nervous,” Beyoncé told Oprah, “and Sasha Fierce comes on, and my posture and the way I talk and everything is different.”
Other musicians and athletes have also talked about creating alter egos to help them perform at their best, including Adele and the late Kobe Bryant.
The science behind alter ego
Moving your alter ego is supported by a psychological strategy called self-distancing. When you take someone else’s form, you create space between yourself and your troubling thoughts. Your brain activity shifts from the regions that drive emotional reactivity to the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for logical thinking.
In one study that tested this idea with children, researchers gave 4- and 6-year-olds a boring task to complete and an iPad to play with whenever they wanted to stop. Another group was told to ask themselves, “Am I working hard?” while trying to complete a task. Another group was told to use their name, such as “Does Hannah work hard?” And a third party was able to pick a character, like Batman, and ask, “Does Batman work hard?”
Children who cast their favorite fictional characters persist for a very long time. As they continued to go outside, they showed their anger.
How to change your ego
Whether you want to appear more confident during presentations, ask for a raise, or build up the courage to speak to a stranger:
1. Choose your personality
Your alter ego can be a real person you love, a fictional character, or a version of you on your best day.
Think of someone who has the quality and strength to match the situation. If you need courage, maybe call Serena Williams. If you need someone who is calm and kind under pressure, maybe Mr. Rogers.
2. Create a practical anchor
Tying your alter ego to a physical anchor, like a piece of clothing, makes this strategy even more powerful, whether it’s a watch that makes you feel like James Bond or red boots that remind you of Wonder Woman. The meaning you attach to an object is what does the work.
So find a little something that represents your alter ego – a piece of jewelry, a pair of socks, a certain sweater. Put it on before you go into your highest state to switch your brain to their mindset.
3. Study and show your alter ego
Ask yourself, “What would my alter ego do in this situation?” Notice how they would stand. How would they talk. Then do those things.
One word of caution: If channeling your alter ego makes you feel like you’re pretending to be someone else, put it too far. The goal is to develop your qualities that are often buried by self-doubt, not to feel like you’re losing yourself completely.
If you are concerned about how stress management is affecting your well-being, consult a mental health professional.
4. Start small
Don’t wait for a high-pressure situation to try this strategy. Practice when the stakes are low. Test it during a team meeting before trying it out with all your might. With practice, you will discover how to tune this game to work best for you.
Then you can think of it as a secret trick that brings out the most confident version of you when you need it.
Amy Morin he is a psychotherapist, a clinical social worker, and a host of With a Strong Mind a podcast. He is the author of several books including “13 Things Smart People Don’t Do.″ His TEDx talk “The Secret to Mental Strength” it is one of the most watched speeches of all time. Follow him Instagram again LinkedIn.
Want to get ahead at work? Then you need to learn how to make an effective small talk. In a new CNBC online course, How to Talk to People at Workexpert instructors share practical strategies to help you use everyday conversations to gain visibility, build meaningful relationships and accelerate your career growth. Register today!
